My First Abulance Experience
It was two days before last Christmas Eve when my friend and I headed to church for the Christmas dinner gathering… We left her house around 7pm, I was on the back of her electric bike. We were very excited for the dinner gathering and somehow everything seemed so wonderful under a chilly Christmas vibe. Suddenly, about 5 minutes into the ride, I felt an unsteady shake, and within just a second, I’m head was on the ground.
The fall was so fast that I couldn’t jump off or do any reaction, even now I can’t really process how did it actually happened. To my surprise, I didn’t feel any pain. Maybe I was devastated so much that the fear and shock overwhelmed the pain. The first thought was a grateful, “thank God I’m alright and I’m still alive.” And somehow I really felt a peace and secure inside me right after that I’ve never felt before. However, though I knew God was with me and knew I was fine, I was still engulfed by fear, and the situation felt unreal.
Shortly after people gathered around me, and not until I saw their faces I thought it was just a small fall. Then a middle-aged woman said to me, “Don’t worry, you can have cosmetic surgery in the future.”--fear flooded me. I wanted to know what happened to my face, so I turned on the camera on my phone and was nearly breaking down. I then noticed a warm stream kept running down on the left side of my face and my neck—I knew I had caused trouble. I used the paper someone handed me (thank you so much to the guy) to wipe my face, seeing the vivid red; it was the most unforgettable and emotional red in my 19 years life. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I quickly held it back because I didn’t want my friend to feel bad because this wasn’t her fault. Still, I felt miserable. I didn’t know why this had happened to me, how sad my family would be, or how my future would hold with a potential scar on the face. When I checked my face again, I discovered a deep wound on my eyebrow, and I thanked God that my eye had remained unharmed.
Along with the familiar sounds it came the ambulance. I walked toward it, and the paramedic asked if I was okay, I said yes. On the way, all the emotions started to burst out; I could no longer hide them. I let my tears pouring and washing my face, and when I thought of my family, the sorrow deepened. I felt so sorry that I didn’t take good care of myself—I’m not supposed to let them worry about me. But I still need to inform them, so I withheld my sniffles and my emotions, telling them not to be shocked or worried because I was fine, just that I had fallen off from an electric bike and on the way to the hospital. (Thinking back I’m glad that I was able to be calm on the phone, and my dad sounded calm, too.) But once I hung up the phone, I broke down again. I was afraid my face wouldn’t be the same anymore. My friend, who rode the electric bike, was with me all the time. She held my hand and comforted me, which brought me some reassurance. I prayed to God, I know everything happens for a reason, and know that this was his plan and was under his control. So I told God, everything I have is from you; you give and you take away. My face is also your creation, so if you want to take it back I’ll obey. In my prayer I could feel his presence.
When we got to the hospital, I saw many elderly patients, I felt sorry for them for some of them looked very unenergetic. I even felt a bit ashamed because the nurses seemed so busy and the hospital looked like metro in Tokyo. Compare to them, my injury was insignificant. We waited for a while. Finally it was my turn, the nurse examined my wounds and said the deep one on my eyebrow needed stitches. I was terrified but had to accept it. But since there was no available doctor, we had to wait for an another while. I cried again when when we were waiting; the whole thing was just like a dream. Christmas was coming and the semester was ending, yet here I was in the hospital. Panic and anxiety came to me again, so I asked my friend to pray for me. That was the first time she pray aloud for me by my side, and we really got closer through this experience—I think that’s one part of God’s plan.
As I waited and texted some friends and family, another wave of emotions rose. The messages from my family and friends somehow really turned on my sorrow. But I still didn’t wanna cried aloud cause my friend was beside me. I knew she must be shocked, too. I told her this was not her fault and we would still remain great friends. Now, I really think it was a test God gave us to refine our friendship. Turned out we overcome the test, and I’m glad we did not drift apart after the accident. After about half an hour, the nurse called me. Something magical happened, she said it seemed like I wouldn’t need stitches because the bleeding wasn’t that much anymore. So, we went back.
Day2 of recovering
Day5 of recovering
When I got back dorm, I finally poured out all my emotions and stress, releasing my tears and cries. This time was for no reason, just cried and cried and let off. In this phase, I already accepted the fact and tried to think what I'm gonna do. I suddenly thought of the party hold by many departments together at a Taichung night club tomorrow. And the moment I thought about this I realized it was God’s protection to not let me go. At first, I didn’t want to go to be honest, but all my friends were going and I thought it’ll be a new experience for me. But I was actually a bit worried deep down cause I don't really like alcohol and have never been to a night club. Well, not the night club one, but God indeed gave me a new experience.
For the next week I looked really funny and scary, the gauze I put on my wounds and my bruised and bloodshot eye were very noticeable. People who know me asked what happened to me, people who don’t know me would just stare at me for seconds. Fortunately, the healing process was really fast. One day, while checking my wounds, I noticed that the scab seemed to be coming off. When I gently touched it, it fell away naturally. And I couldn’t believe that the new skin looks almost the same like my original one. I was amazed by how incredible my body repaired itself, and also felt blessed and thankful. About another week later, the bruises were almost all gone.
The scab
But the story hasn’t ended yet. Although my physical injuries have healed, my mental trauma hasn’t. I lived in fear of constantly imagining myself falling down, especially when I was on a vehicle. I sometimes have nightmares and found myself replaying the scene and the falling moment. I could even feel some dull ache on my eyebrow. While they didn’t cause real big problems on my daily life, I know they were there and I have to do something. If there’re trash on the table, you can’t just cover it with a cloth, or else it'll grow maggots and mold underneath. So is our emotion, if we have mental issues, we can’t just pretend we’re fine and expecting time will heal. The darkness inside us will only spread further. So I prayed a lot and began to dig in deeper. I realized the fear of traffic accidents has always been lurking within me like a haunting presence. I remembered when I was little my parents showed me so many videos and real cases of car accidents or how dangerous it could be not paying attention on the street. They took it very seriously, and as a result, I’ve always been cautious about transportation. But that somehow caused me a bigger fear of accidents, even just walking down the streets--cause I didn't know whether tomorrow or accident would come first. Once I realized this, I prayed to God to heal me from this fear because I didn’t want to live in the shadow every day. Although I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, I want to trust in Him and live in no fear. I am so grateful that God freed me, and I can confidently say I’m no longer held back by the fear of that accident.
Looking back, this experience was way far more than an accident. I would say it was a gift pack from God that allowed me to learn so many important lessons. First, I learned to trust him even in the difficult circumstance and obey his plan for me. Second, I developed a stronger, rock-solid friendship through our shared experiences of faith. Third, I confronted my true fears and found freedom from them. And the greatest blessing is that I learned all this at no cost! (I left no scar on my body and no shadow in my heart) I’m glad that God gave me the test (and protected me from potential dangers in the night club!), allowed me to experience his wonderful grace (and John 13:7), and drew me closer to him. And most importantly, strengthened my faith in Him. I couldn’t have known the wisdom and purpose of this experience if I had relied solely on my own understanding. Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things. (Psalm 72:18)
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Tiffany
Day15 of recovering
My friend and me